Swan Lake

Swan Lake by Patrick Kill

Patrick Kill’s most notorious story released in all of its uncut, obscene glory!

Swan Lake, a beauty resort and spa for the ultra-wealthy, boasts of its lake filled with magical waters that will cleanse and reverse aging. Until two ne’er-do-wells sneak in to fish, drink beer, and urinate in the lake, causing a disruption in the un-natural ecosystem.

Hell and much debauchery unfolds in this tasteless classic novelette only Patrick Kill could imagine.

***It goes without saying, though it’ll be stated nevertheless: for mature audiences only, ones who aren’t easily offended.***

The IndieMuse Review

The official description on Amazon for the latest release from Patrick Kill contains the following words:

  • Debauchery
  • Obscene
  • Notorious
  • Tasteless

It also has a very clear warning that the book is not intended for those who are easily offended. So, with that out of the way, let’s get started!

Smiley and Ryan are best buds who have managed to con themselves into a stay at the scenic Swan Lake resort and spa, famous for a lake on its grounds that are rumoured to have miraculous healing properties. It is a must-visit location for the rich and wealthy, which professional slackers Smiley and Ryan most certainly are not.

When a series of misadventures cause the lake to become polluted, damaging the delicate ecosystem that gives it its magical properties, the true secret of the lake is revealed and, in the words of the author himself, a lot of obscene and tasteless debauchery ensues.

I have read a lot of horror and a great deal of extreme horror, and I would say that it takes a great deal to offend me. I now know my limits, and that limit is Swan Lake.

This wasn’t the first Patrick Kill book I have read (it’s the fourth) and I went in expecting a certain level of puerile, gross-out horror-comedy. Swan Lake is, in that regard at least, not all that different from what I’ve read before. This one read like Edward Lee had watched a triple bill of American PieShallow Hal and Piranha 3DD and wrote a series of gross-out scenes as a homage to an unholy mix of all three.

Had the book not been so short (this one clocks in at 27 pages) I probably would have given up on it. It just went a little bit too far, even for me. The book’s main goal seems to be to shock the reader, simply for the sake of being shocking. If that’s the book’s only goal, it succeeds big-time. My main issue is that, without giving any spoilers for content, the shock value doesn’t add anything other than just being a particularly non-PC diversion that has no bearing on the rest of the book. The usual trademark humor fell flat for me with this one, because the overall tone just felt mean-spirited and cruel, killing any attempt at comedy.

It’s a shame because, as loathsome as they both are, I kind of liked Smiley and Ryan, and the concept behind Swan Lake was fun and interesting. I’d happily read more of their adventures, should Kill care to write them, but their next outing would need to have a story to tell rather than relying on controversy and tastelessness alone.

I can’t say I would recommend Swan Lake. It is a little too successful at its low aim to shock and offend, and not near successful enough at giving any other reason to persevere with it. Take heed of the content warnings on this one, they are no exaggeration.


Richard started reading horror books at a young age, starting with R L Stine’s ‘Goosebumps’ and ‘Point Horror’ series. He traumatised himself at the age of twelve when he read Stephen King’s ‘IT’, and never looked back. He is currently based in the UK, where he lives with his partner, and an inappropriate amount of books.

Curation Results: Swan Lake

Curator Notes: "Not a story to be embraced by many readers in our current Woke culture, but a classic to a small cult of readers who get the underlying premise." —Deathdealer

1 review for Swan Lake by Patrick Kill

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  1. Tristan Anders

    In the time where Woke culture, black listings and cancel culture are taking society by storm, Kill is the counter-culture to all of this. Refreshing!

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