Welcome to the deadliest golf course on earth! A horrible death awaits most golfers who tee off on this extreme course. But they deserve to die anyway just for taking part in what is inarguably mankind’s most pathetic sport.
Patrick Kill has only set foot on a golf course once, then decided to join the PHA (Professional Haters Association) instead. This was the exact same day the grounds crew of that same course was forced to put out a small brush fire in the rough on Hole 14 and dig up half-buried broken golf clubs that resembled lawn darts on every single green. His cart was found in flames crashed into an 18th-hole sand trap. His caddy’s corpse was discovered weeks later in a water hazard with tees lodged in both eyes and a putter shoved up his rectum.
Screaming Greens is Patrick Kill’s literary salute to the world’s stupidest sport.
This is also story #8 in the Death To Humans series.