Nunchuck City

Nunchuck City by Brian Asman

You better nun-check yourself before you wreck yourself!

Disgraced ex-ninja Nunchuck “Nick” Nikolopoulis just wants to open a drive-thru fondue restaurant with his best friend Rondell. But when an old enemy kidnaps the mayor, and a former flame arrives in hot pursuit, Nick’s going to have to dust off his fighting skills and face his past. Plus an army of heavily-armed ninjas, a very well-dressed street gang, an Australian sumo wrestler with a gnarly skin condition, giant robots, municipal paperwork, and much, much more! From the rooftops to the sewers, Nick and his ex-girlfriend Kanna Kikuchi are in for the fight of their lives!

Also featuring the backup story “Curse of the Ninja” by Lucas Mangum!

The IndieMuse Review

High quality slapstick is so difficult to get these days.

As my personal tastes have grown, it is something I’ve been gradually moving away from. While I loved Airplane, The Naked Gun and Hot Shots! as a young man, I can barely stand (or get through) slapstick movies these days.

Which brings us to Nunchuck City—the first book I’ve read by Brian Asman.

Let’s break this one down:

Do you know what nunchucks are? If you don’t, it is the kind of weapon that can do just as much, if not more, damage to one using it as to the opponent/attacker/unlucky bystander…

Other than Bruce Lee, who managed to make it look cool (the bastard!), I don’t know how much it will take to master it, but it can be useful to help determine your son’s future…more accurately than any aptitude test.


Well, here’s what you do. At age 5, roughly, show your son a Bruce Lee movie where he used nunchucks. Trust me, he will think it is cool.

Then you give him a pair and tell him to practice.

If he tries it once, until he hits himself (probably in the face or nuts), and drops them to the ground, runs to you crying and never wants to touch them again, congratulations…

⇒Your son is an intellectual, somebody who will use his brain more than his body. Push him academically.

If he tries it a few times before he gives it up, congratulations…

⇒Your son shows signs of determination. He will most likely use both his brain and body, and he might become something like an inventor.

If your son keeps at it, no matter how much blood and teeth he loses in the process, congratulations…

⇒Your son shows signs of become a successful full-contact sportsman someday. Just stop him (for now), so you don’t ruin his looks. And, if he manages to knock himself out and, when he comes to, picks them up and tries again, you have a little boxer on your hands!

Back to the story:

Nunchuck “Nick” Nikolopoulis is an ex-ninja, who just wants to open the first drive-thru fondue restaurant in Turbo City. On the day he tries to get his license, everything turns to shit when Kundarai Saru decides to attack the city and become the new Mayor.

Will Nick be able to stop him, at least long enough to get the Mayor’s signature?

I will be the first to admit it—this story was hilarious. I mean, seriously girl-giggling, stomach grabbing, laugh out loud funny. What a pleasant surprise for me (and anyone who does themselves the favor of reading this!).

Everything worked, no matter how ridiculous it may sound, and this story was like a West-meets-East-karate-action movie done for a universal audience. Such hilarious violence is hard to come by.


Mort Stone lives in untamed Africa, where he rides his lion to work every morning to slave away as a scientist who learned how to fake competency.

Reading is his passion…well, the one he can admit to, anyway. As an aggressive pacifist, he chooses to fight vicariously through stories which can bring him no physical harm.

While he is almost confidant that his IQ is in the top 50%, his wife regularly reminds him of all the stupid things he does. He will neither admit nor deny the accusations of sarcasm, but he can act like he cares. Most of the time.

As an avid reader of horror and thrillers, and somewhat of a movie buff in those genres, he still blames his insomnia on Global Warming. Because he can.

He would also like to apologize in advance for any swear words which might slip through…he will blame that on the insomnia.

Curation Results: Nunchuck City

Curator Notes: "Nunchuck City is a refreshingly original work. Asman has a knack for writing consumable bizarro fiction that works on multiple levels." —KnotBTK

This title has been officially certified by indiemuse reviewers and curators as a recommended read. Read about our certification process here.

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