Our Top-10 Favorite Jon Bassoff Tweets

Not everybody knows that I was an original member of Gladys Knight and the Pips. Some of the best days of my life. pic.twitter.com/pQAkreCCwf

— Jon "Lowlife" Bassoff (@jonbassoff) November 18, 2020

If I ever write a script for a Hallmark movie, I’m going to include some white people because I feel like they’re sorely underrepresented.

— Jon "Lowlife" Bassoff (@jonbassoff) November 25, 2020

My prayers and hopes are like every other parent: I want my children's lives to be just a little worse than mine.

— Jon "Lowlife" Bassoff (@jonbassoff) November 20, 2020

I won a Grammy for Best R&B Performance!#iWon pic.twitter.com/8J2gSBfAoj

— Jon "Lowlife" Bassoff (@jonbassoff) November 16, 2020

For those of you who criticize my novels, I have a simple, yet powerful, response: my mommy consistently assures me that I'm gifted.

— Jon "Lowlife" Bassoff (@jonbassoff) December 3, 2020

I’m trying to earn some extra money. Question: do you think people would purchase a Jon Bassoff action figure? Be honest. Here’s a prototype. pic.twitter.com/LB0EmpaPsO

— Jon "Lowlife" Bassoff (@jonbassoff) December 19, 2020

Do you think Daryl Hall will get the vaccine before John Oates because Oates is a non-essential worker?

— Jon "Lowlife" Bassoff (@jonbassoff) December 29, 2020

Times are tough all over, especially for me. With book sales flat, to earn some extra money, I have no choice but to include product placements in my posts. As you can see, I’m not happy about it. So far Swanson is the only company willing to pay. Taste The Swanson Difference™ pic.twitter.com/YZSCZ5vfcE

— Jon "Lowlife" Bassoff (@jonbassoff) December 9, 2020

A lot of people confuse the author with the narrator. My narrators have killed dozens of people. I’ve only killed three.

— Jon "Lowlife" Bassoff (@jonbassoff) January 26, 2019

You can tell this has been a rough year. An ice cream truck just drove by and they were playing “The End” by The Doors.

— Jon "Lowlife" Bassoff (@jonbassoff) December 20, 2020