The Letter & Notice To Readers
So my morning starts off with a tweet-storm sent to me by head curator Patrick with only three LOL emojis attached and the words “Your horror genre welcoming party has assembled!” An author notoriously still obsessing about the closing of DarkFuse and its subsequent bankruptcy. Unfortunately, back in 2017, authors didn’t get all their royalties, this particular author wasn’t paid a few hundred dollars (for a book on the market barely a month or two) and I lost personal property and the courts did their job.
Unfortunately, this is business. When you go all-in and take your risks on doing what you love, it doesn’t always pan out. Nevermind my history of being an award-winning publisher for 20+ years, helping to launch the careers of many authors and always paying on time (over the course paying out several hundreds of thousands of dollars to authors paid on time or early), you can’t please them all. I missed one royalty period in the end (of a 20-year career due to bankruptcy) and that was all that mattered to this author. Not to mention, I put authors first and at the first sign the company wouldn’t meet its next quarter’s bills, returned rights to every author within 72 hours—so they could arrange to get their work back on the market and make money elsewhere. But in the end, this particular author was there at the wrong time, and, unfortunately took a hit with the company. As we all did. Perhaps it’s because we paid too much percentages to authors or authors didn’t sell well enough or I tried to expand the market out of proportions. Doesn’t matter…history is what it is, however unfortunate it is. I’ve made my peace with that and moved on, most people have.
Most of my former authors I’ve caught up with in my history have been understanding and have respected the many contributions I’ve made to the genre (as I bet on them, and many had their first books published by me). Most welcomed me back with open arms (and, yes, they took a hit in the end as well). But they also get the business. Others, I couldn’t give a shit, as business doesn’t always (and never should) lend itself to building best-buddies, and I’m good with that as well. Authors and publishers can succeed and fail together. It’s not black and white—if every one of my authors were bringing in a fortune, the company would have never closed. And this guy thinks I ran off with a treasure-chest full of cash during a bankruptcy because I was an independent publisher. First off, bankruptcy means you lose just about everything, just so you’re clear. But this guy, doesn’t care about the bigger picture, or the other perspective.
Now the author of Uncle Boobs, who is actually Edward Lorn, is that particular author. He wrote a DarkFuse novella which was published a few months before DarkFuse closed its doors. Wasn’t the highlight of my publishing career, to say the least, but Edward is a good writer, and no regrets in hoping for the best and getting his work out to the genre.
So the above paragraphs should provide readers with a disclaimer, a backstory before they read the review I’m about to give on “Ward Nerdlo” and his novella. That way, you know there is a history between author and reviewer. Try not to read between the lines too much. What you might find, may not surprise you.
First off, to Edward, sorry you were caught up in it (as I am to everyone). I assure you (not that it matters) that I lost a great deal after DarkFuse’s closing, including personal property, to get straight on the debts the company accrued. It was hard on me and my family. Like I said, it was unfortunate.
Also, for the record: this is not a book publishing site, I’m here for onboarding and web development so that indie authors can have another really good website and channel to market their work to, an interim editor to the horror hub till someone is hired (by 1/31/20). But, by all means, please feel free to boycott this site if you don’t want your work promoted. Just because I designed the website!
And also: I found your pen name! Much like you found my businesses. Congrats! It’s called Google. No secret: I’ve been out there in plain sight all along. Chances are: you’ve probably used a site I’ve been a part in creating. Your blog posts and videos about me are entertaining and cherished and I can’t thank you enough for spending the time on them! Five stars from me! Now on to your review (not 5-stars, but, don’t worry, it’s still good!)…
Uncle Boobs: The Review
When I tackle a book called Uncle Boobs about a clown with massive mammaries, a mysterious stalker in a banana suit, and a Halloween party mayhem all culminating in a zombie event, I don’t go in with too much of a critical eye to hold the author accountable for maintaining a standard of a modern classic, even for a quasi-horror genre piece like this.
But that isn’t the point. As a reader, I enjoy a light read, some humor and a bizarre twisted tale to escape. And Ward Nerdlo (Lorn) provides this with Uncle Boobs. As it’s self-published, this book is good quality. Lorn is a really solid writer, which is why I picked him up back when I was with DarkFuse. There are very few typos throughout and the cover is appealing to the content within. Also, this book is the reason why I enjoy independent authors and publishers. They can write about whatever the hell they want, whenever they want, and not be confined to a mass market template, forced to paint between the lines.
Nerdlo/Lorn scribbles wildly at times, and I enjoyed it! All 69 pages, go figure!
Boobs, clowns, zombies, stalking bananas…independently created. And Nerdlo’s dialogue is solidly tweenish, fitting the main characters who become victimized by the menacing banana. (Again, I wouldn’t read between the lines.)
This novella even has a character called Shane Pickle in it (Lorn’s subconscious may be working overtime, perhaps? If so, I’m honored once again!).
Overall, this book accomplishes what is sets out to do and it entertains, is humorous (the gory scenes inflicted by monstrous cleavage were worth the $2.99 alone). 3.5 stars because it doesn’t break any real creative ground or originality, but well worth the read!
Go pick up Ward Nerdlo’s latest, as rumor has it, he’s been duped by a greedy mega-millionaire publisher and needs cash. I even bought the book, instead of reading it through Kindle unlimited, so that I could sleep at night, knowing Lorn made another 20 cents from Amazon.
As for a welcoming party, don’t tempt me…here’s a little MEme (I hear these are popular nowadays).
I’m still as subtle as ever. 😉